So everyone goes through the thoughts of wondering who sits in a room to discuss of ways to get more money out of a car that is barely holding on, that you can't sell and you can't afford a new one.
OOOHHH yeah lets make sure that every year on the cars BIRTHDAY you not only get to pay out money to drive it, you also get to pay out a little more because they need to stick an oxygen monitor in the tail pipe to make sure that it doesn't pollute our CLEAN air. And then they check the wipers. Like we wouldn't know if the wipers didn't work. Although we do know that our windows roll down but they don't roll back up. This is a major problem.
Well we held off trying to register again like every year. Remember, the Birthday party we get to have for our non breathing, thing that you can't live without which receives more money on it's birthday than our breathing children that we can live without some days.
On with the story.... Our back tail light had a big hole in it which looked about the size of a 8 year old bike handle, not blaming anyone, but it wouldn't be so bad except this is the second time in two years that the same size hole in the same EXACT spot keeps appearing. I don't understand why no one will step to the plate and admitt that they have a problem turning into the driveway....
John orders the part. By now we are 2 weeks ahead of the birthday party and were doing good. It sits on the floor until about 2 days before the Party and then we realize the wrong part was ordered and it does'nt fit. I go to the place and explain that it doesn't fit.... He looks at me like why did your husband send you in here to do a mans job? I'm thinking it's a big PLASTIC dome light.. It fits or it doesn't. He asks me if I have the vehicle with me. "Yes, I reply, but my husband really does know how to put one on. Don't you remember us paying you out $100.00 bucks last year.?" The Expertise goes out and works on the thing for 20 minutes until he gives up and says "I've just never seen this before". WOW, did he borrow that line from my kids?
We are now 1 week over the due date of the party and the invitation is still stareing at me and I'm at the point of dodging all of the police cars that even come 1 mile away from me. I even carried the receipt of the plastic dome light so if I did by mistake get pulled over I had my whole story with tears ready to go....
Right part comes in and I set an appointment for the actual Party!!! Only no one is excited and there are black balloons hanging everywhere. Because of course you never have any money just sitting in the account for this one. I Get in there and everything seems to be going well and then it happens.... "M'am you have a burned out tail light, would you like me to put in a new one and put it on your tab". "As a matter of fact I would mind. I just bought that stupid thing. You think they put dead light bulbs in just because they looked stupid because they ordered the wrong part". What the heck!!! The young man was afraid of me by the end of the party. I put out another .83cents for a light bulb for that non breathing object. I could tell it was coming to an end when the windshield wipers worked and he decided to pull it out of the stall.
Now you remember me telling you that our windows roll down but they don't roll up.. He comes in and says okay your ready to go, but have you had any problems with your windows rolling down and up? I am now climbing over the counter and sucking all of his blood out of him.... and thinking to myself " OH Please Oh please tell me you didn't roll them down?
As calmly as possible I said, "No, we've NEVER had a problem rolling them down. They ALWAYS roll down but they NEVER go back up!!! By now I'm sure he was wondering if by chance his manager put his lunch break that day at 9:30a.m.
Looking back If I didn't have my head connected to my feelers I could have played stupid and said, "NO, but you better fix that, My husband is not gonna like that."
Needless to say I drove home with a pass on my paper in the RAIN with now another problem to face. To make a long story short. I slammed the door about 20 times. Brought my blow dryer out and tried to heat the door, for some reason in the hot weather it works fine. I'm a women and that was the next heat source... Could've used the blow torche but was afraid I would make the exterior a step worse. Ha Ha now that's funny. See how crazy we are sometimes. Of course I only had to resolve to those resources because it was raining and there was no other heat to be found. I then cussed in mormon language with only 1 bleep, and then realized this was out of my hands and I couldn't drive to pick the kids up in the rain so, I prayed.....
It was one of those prayers that you come in shame but full of faith that he can reach his almighty powerful finger down on that button and make it go up. For some reason he was mercifull and realized that the birthday party was short of anything but fun and decided that looking upon our checking account and seeing there was a shortage to cover another non human medical expense he would save us.
So there is my little miracle, I literally jumped into the air with glee with happiness. I Gave my thanks and now have Duct tape covering the window switches. Because I know those windows aren't getting another miracle.
And you can count on me back here in another year with another eventfull birthday story, and with our luck another new tail light.
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15 comments:
I'm right there with you. I HATE car problems, accidents, troubles, etc... It seems like there is no end.
You are cracking me up!
Best.
Post.
Ever.
And I am scared that your wrote this (out loud...)
cause you probably just jinxed your luck, and the tranny is going to blow.
That is pretty funny. I wish I could have seen that poor boys face when you were ranting at him. Good luck until it's next birthday.
Shortly after moving to Colorado I learned that they didn't have a "Saftey" inspection...I think I fell to my knee's and kissed the ground.
MIrm
yOu aRe fUnNy!!! I would start looking for a contest to win some new wheels!! I'm sorry, I hate stuff like that!!
Great post! Actually read every word (rare for me on other blogs). Glad the car has another year- like the car with nine lives, but this car has had a lot more than that.
Mirm,
I am feelin the heat come out of the screen as I am reading your post. I like how you resorted to duct tape.
Good luck with your buck suckin van! (sometimes it is just fun to say things that sound crude!)
Way to see the good in a terrible situation. Our van is slowly shutting down on us as well-doors to don't always lock/unlock, check-engine light is on-we're seeing how long we can ignore that one, other lights turn off and on. But hey, it gets us where we need to go. I'm going to keep couting those little miracles!
And yes, the ears are pierced! Sorry Mom. May she rest in peace.
you're hilarious!
Nothing like telling it like it is. Next time, if you could provide a link and some instructions on how we can donate money to your cause that would be great.
HAPPY BLOODY BIRTHDAY~!!
Dude, does anyone have money these days? Cuz I SURE DON'T either! Luckily I don't have car troubles, or I'd be swearing in NON MORMON language!!! With a lot more than one bleep! Oh man I miss you! It's been so long since I read your blog (or anyones) but I'm glad I did tonight cuz I just love to! How's John? Has he figured the ins and outs of blogging codes and such. Alright, love you guys!! :)
It's my friendly reminder that it has been over a month since your last blog post. And since I KNOW that you have a lot of down time today...sluffin' church and all...with *ahem* sick kids, (or so you say...heh heh) I will expect an update soon.
Give us some Halloween love sista!!!
Mirm, your blog is boring us...
I can't say you're a stranger anymore...mostly because I realized we'd met at Heidi's ward! But also because I feel I know you a little now through your blog.
Um, I hope you don't have any car trouble on the road. Not to jinx you or anything! :0)
Have a lovely Thanksgiving!
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