Bon Appetit - or - So this is why she gets so mad when we don't eat... - by John

My sisters Heidi and her family and Heather came to Utah this week.  We had the profound honor of a brief visit on Monday night to which I will be eternally grateful.  But, alas, that short time I was able to spend with them seemed so....incomplete.  So when I was told that I was going to have the opportunity to host a Saturday breakfast for them I knew I had to go all out.  And anyone who knows me knows that when I go all out on anything I expect it to go perfect.  So my little project started at 5 in the morning.  I got dressed, made up a grocery list, and ran to Wal-Mart to do a little shopping.  Knowing that we are all trying to shape up a little for the summer I decided to do the entire breakfast Weight-Watchers friendly.  3 point omelets, 1 point muffins (the best!), lo-cal orange juice, and pancakes for the kids was the menu for this special morning.  I began preparations at 6:00 with the understanding that the guests would be arriving between 8:30 and 9:00.  I chopped the peppers, green onions, and mushrooms, cooked and crushed the bacon, mixed and seasoned the eggs, prepared the dry and wet ingredients for the (world's best) pancakes and, by 8:15, got the muffins in the oven.  At 8:40 my masterpiece was finished.  Here is a photo of my culinary opus-

The panic didn't begin to set in until 8:45. Breakfast, thus far, had gone off without a hitch.  Of course, a feast of this magnitude is even better when there is someone around to eat it. In an effort to keep cold sweat from ruining the syrup, I decided to ask Miriam if she had maybe heard differently from me with regards to the arrival time of my family. That is when the bomb dropped. Don't get me wrong, I love Heidi, but when Mirm said she thought that only Heidi would be coming at around 9:30 my reaction was, well, understandable (see photo of cat with machine gun in post below). I was devastated! If you have ever lost someone close to you, you'll understand what I went through - Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, at last, acceptance.  These stages of grief all took place in the space of about 10 minutes.  Maybe I should clarify - The acceptance stage didn't actually happen until Heidi showed up with her kids and breakfast was served and enjoyed by all. We had a fun, albeit brief, time together.  Praises were showered upon the chef, leftovers were bagged up for another day, dishes were cleaned, and then it was over. Somehow I thought the moment would last...forever. All that is left with me - besides, perhaps, some lingering remnants in my lower intestines - is a deeper appreciation for what our dear wives go through every day of their lives. So I want to apologize to my wife for the (few) times I have complained that a meal was late/early/cold/hot/too much/not enough/yucky. I just didn't get it until now. I'm glad I have the rest of my life to get it right.
p.s. If you would like to try the 1 point muffins, the recipe is below.

1 Point Muffins - The BEST!

Low fat Bran Muffins-
2 cups 100% Bran cereal & 1-1/4 cups warm water mixed together and left to sit for 10 minutes. To that add 1/2 cup unsweetend applesauce, 1 egg, 1/3 to 1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar, 2 tsps. cinnamon (or more to taste), 1/2 tsp. baking soda, 1-1/2 tsps. baking powder, and 1 cup whole wheat flour.  Mix well and put in muffin cups or greased (pam spray works great) muffin tins and bake at 400 degrees for 18-20 minutes.  Makes 12 muffins.  They are best hot and don't keep very long but they make a healthy and filling snack.  Enjoy!

"Tag response" The real JOHN!- Mirm

So I guess it's up to me to respond on the whole husband tag. I don't think I really need to say much because if you have been reading the blog, you pretty much get the jist of who he is!!!!

How long have you been married? Almost 15 years..... Time has flown by. And were still finding things out about each other. Not too many, but sometimes you can open a closet you haven't been through yet.

Who does the dishes? Mostly me, but he knows how happy it makes me when I walk in the house to no dishes...

Who cooks dinner? Again, since he works grave yard shift, I do it. We would all starve if we had to wait for him. Don't get me wrong He CAN cook. He makes the meanest Chocolate Chip Cookies ever.

Who does Laundry? I DO!!!! He won't fight me on this one. This is one thing he won't do. We've had some coloring problems in the past.... Although he will IRON!!! I'll give him that job any day.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? We BOTH do? Figure that one out!!!! Since he sleeps during the day and I sleep while he's at work we've learned to SPRAWL!!! It's really quite nice. I don't know if we will ever be able to sleep together in the same bed again...

Who does the finances? That would be me!!! This one KILLS John!! He works his butt off every week to have it directly deposited into the account with no visual of any green stuff and then by the time he does see the account there is nothing left. Finances is not a happy subject at our house. We avoid debt because we can't afford debt!!!

Who wears the pants? We both do!!! It really depends on who has more sleep that day! The kids have really started figuring this one out.

How old is he? Just old enough to not be so young any more! He's 37, with 38 squealing around the corner. I will admit, I am 3 months older and boy is he so proud of that.

How long did you date? We went on ONE date and then he proposed to me!!! I think he realized that he was starting to lose his hair and it was then or never. I have never asked him how many others he asked before me. LOL. We were married three months later. Have never been happier in my life. He is truly my BEST friend!!!

Where did you meet? He lived three houses down from my house. Don't think we were lovers growing up either... That is another chapter of another book!! It's a MIRACLE that we ended up together.

What does he like to do? He just likes sitting and listening to his wife babble on and on. By the time he wakes up I have a whole day of stories waiting for him. And since I really haven't talked to any adults he gets it all.. He is very patient with me.. He really didn't do much at all until he realized that he really needed a hobby of some sort besides wife lingo. He has started fishing and loves every minute of it. That is where he energizes enough strength to come back to the home front and take more wife babble. He took me once and that was a real treat!!! He said my talent for fishing was unexplainable. He didn't even know that the trees were there until he was climbing them to get his hooks out..

I just need to let him know how much I lOVE him!!! He is truly a happy person who does all he can to provide for his family by putting in long hours and two jobs a lot of times.... He hates his job but the kids have no idea because he doesn't bring his work home with him.. Okay, sometimes, but those stories can't be left there. I can't even imagine what my life would be like without him. We have four wonderful children because of him. I was just the carrier.. Okay, one of the kids looks like me! He is truly the best thing that has ever come into my life, that has changed it for the better. I look forward to several more long and blissful years....

Proud to call him Son - John

Need a little help with this one~

On Friday we got an email from our 7 year old, Josh. Obviously his class was given the assignment to learn how to do this and he definitely gave it his best shot. Truth is, he was nearly jumping out of his skin when I mentioned to him that I got it. Now for the problem. The following image shows what he sent...

Miriam and I spent a while trying to figure this one out. We have an idea but we would love to get someone else's input simply because this sounds a lot like a desperate cry for attention and companionship to us. I think I saw an Dateline special on serial killers that mentioned letters like this as definite signs of a problem. Kidding, of course! But I must admit, we found this priceless. Josh has a cousin who is older than him by a couple months who is reading Harry Potter, another cousin a little younger than him who will probable get her PhD when she is 18, and a best friend who is exactly his age who has been reading at a third grade level since birth. I don't know if any of these kids are "normal", but I guarantee their first attempt at an email probably didn't have this much character. One day, Josh is going to write a book about his life, sell 10 million copies, and let me retire early. That'll show you. Love that kid!

Time for a Change - John

Okay, for the past 35 years (I didn't actually get hair until I was 2) I have worn basically the same hair style, only the amount of hair has been dwindling away faster than I am happy with (Thanks Grandpa Kunz!!) So I think it is time for a change. The above animation has me in several different stages of follicular presentation, including one shot sans any hair at all. Except the goatee. If I'm going to lose it all, some of it will migrate to my chin. Obviously photos 1 and 2 are the easiest and cheapest to accomplish. The rest will require several sessions with my friends at Bosely's Hair Clinic and more money than I make in a year. Donations, of course, will be warmly received. So let me know what you think! And wish me luck. Next time you see me you might not recognize me. P.S. No you did not see that first photo on America's Most Wanted and I would appreciate you not going to the F.B.I. looking for a reward. I really don't need that kind of attention.

Ever had one of those days? - John

Okay, I've been sick now for a couple of days and when I get sick my whole system seems to shut down to try and deal with whatever has taken residency within me. Needless to say, when I'm like this going to work ranks right up there with acute nausea and death as situations I look forward to mess around with. I get here tonight to the same (but different) set of problems that always seem so eager to greet me, and I realize it is going to take all of my mental and intestinal fortitude to get through this shift. Well, fate decided to add a little twist to the mix and made me miss an inch wide metal bar I was stepping on to get down from my press and instead my knee made contact with it as I fell through open space at about 90 miles per hour. The sensation that followed was...remarkable. I'll leave it at that. Of course, since then nothing and no one can go right. I am ornery, I have a thick, pasty soup of vulgarity swooshing around in my head, and this dumb cat is about the funniest thing I've ever seen. I'm afraid by now Homeland Security is tracking me down, such would only add to the complexity of the night, but at least they could give me a good excuse to leave early. If you are beginning to get the impression that I am a little dissatisfied with my employment, let me know and I will send you my resume and reference sheet. Listen to the song on the upper right of the page. Yep....that's me! Don't worry, I'm still smiling! I love every minute I spend with my wonderful wife and incredible children, and I am blessed with a job I don't have to bring home with me. Truth be told, my night hasn't been all that bad. I did mess my knee up but I saw this picture and had to create a post befitting it. Hope you are all laughing with me and not on the phone to a local shrink or my bishop to plead for help on my behalf. Remember my motto - It's Fine!

Cherish the Moment - Mirm

Much thought has been dealing with the fact that my youngest, "Zach" will be going into kindergarten this year and how weird it is to think that I am really that OLD!!!! I don't feel that old, except when I'm doing sports, getting out of bed, chasing my children, or trying to run more than 3 miles. Isn't that with everyone though? I look back at growing up and realize that I always thought my parents were so old, and now that they have hit their mid 60's I realize they are still young chickens... Which helps me in my case. Minds can play such a nasty trick on us. I realize that sometimes In my ageing years I have gotten a little more impatient. For instance, I was at the store with Zach and all he wanted to do was take his time at the .25 cent luxury three tier bright red treasure candy-junk toy selection, and all I wanted to do after finally finding everything at the store was to get the heck out of there!!! I realize that this is the only reason he comes with me and in time he will get to the point of not wanting to come with me anywhere.... We have all had those horror stories of the trips to the store, I totally understand, been there done that also, but this time he was just taking his time like we do in order to decide which ice-cream to buy or which product would be a better buy, and while they wait for US to decide I know they are thinking ."What is taking her so long, we have been down this aisle twice and you have picked up 8 different ice-creams." He has learned it all from me and all he wanted was his own time, and the respect at his happy spot, that he deserved for sticking it out at the store with me. So many things I take in a racing pace. Gotta learn to slow down and enjoy the ride.... If only I had like a shock collar on sometimes to remind me of the great moments that we usually rush through. When he finally made up his mind of what toy he wanted, he turned the knob all the way around, which took at least 2 minutes and then I watched his expression change as he opened the silver lid and pulled out his sticky creature, his eyes lit up and was giggling with delight. Saying "That's the one I wanted mom." Priceless moment. Those are the joys that help you sleep at night and make it worth getting up in the morning to start all over again.

"It's Fine"- John

For those of you who might be worried about the previous post and my (John) current state of mind - relax, it's fine. I realize that 99.9% of the world is in love with their occupation and probably doesn't get the deeply complex nature of a Dilbert cartoon, but for those of us who feel a little restless when they step into "Lucifer's Lair", this is probably the funniest cartoon ever inked. No, I am not loosing my mind, at least not that I'm aware. I just get a kick out of the man who can so eloquently express my life for at least 40 hours a week. So if you need to know - It's fine. - j

I couldn't have said it any better! - John

Saw this Dilbert comic and nearly cried as I came to the realization that somebody out there gets "it". Hope you enjoy it. - j

John Posting-
Dad stopped by today. I hope he found it to be a nice break from the framing project that brought him to Utah in the first place. We took him out to eat to Teppanyaki (Bennihana clone). The food was great, the cook was annoying. There was a boy at the table with us, though, who was in awe by everything being done. He kept me entertained, anyway. After dinner we came back to our place for games and talk. I really don't know what it is about the Raddatz drive to win, but I don't think Dad was too happy when I KICKED HIS BUTT!!! Oh, well. I had fun. Aaron and Meg played, too, and got a laugh watching Grandpa deal with his consternation. Good times. It was good talking to him, too. I know I'm a guy and incapable of any kind of emotional bond to my father, but hearing him talk about the way Heidi, Heather, and Stephanie take care of him in Portland made me want to be in a position to spend more time with him. I know the kids get a lot out of his visits, whether he thinks so or not. We had a great time!

Why not?

I have now spent the better part of my days reading the various blog's from friends and family that seem to be infecting my computer like a virus. All the while thinking to myself how wonderful it is to have such a personal and readily available source of information on everyone who is a part of my life. So I think I'll give it a shot. This may be my only post, and if it is then I guess I just wasn't cut out for this bit of internet fun. I'm certain that my life won't interest many, but for those of you who might be curious about the goings-on around here, stick around, you might be surprised.